A Canyon between you and me: how D2C is missing the mark

Direct to consumer sales (D2C) have been a sore spot for bike shops for years. I wrote about it almost a decade ago and I have only gotten more correct. In 2016 shops were complaining about people buying parts online at lower than wholesale prices. Now bike shops have to compete with companies selling entire bikes. Bikes range from the slightly better than garbage at BIKESDIRECT to the deceptively nice looking bikes from Canyon. The big bike companies are in on the action too, brands like Specialized and Trek who both at one time pinky-promised to never sell direct, are shipping bikes to customers houses. A decade ago 1 in 5 people didn't even own a smartphone, now people are using them to buy $10,000 bikes.

Ok so it's 2026 and everyone is selling direct, why haven't all the bike shops disappeared? It has never been easier to buy a bike while you are super high and watching cartoons. Why hasn't the convenience of shopping in your underpants made local shops extinct? Local bike shops still exist because most D2C bike brands are doing a bad job selling you bikes. Shopping has evolved, spending habits have changed, but brands are still trying to sell you bikes the same way they did 10 years ago. 

Here's how the playbook generally goes

Get photos of thin-hipped Europeans riding bicycles in the mountains (preferably on a hairpin) > Write copy with words that elicit a sense of longing for the carefree days of youth > Include numbers showing how this model is better than that other bike > PROFIT!

*Now with the added ADD TO CART button and a "size guide" if you are lucky

I found this image in less than 17 seconds

This tactic works on folks who decided they want to buy the bike before visiting the website, or after the third pretty picture. If this tactic worked on even ten percent of bike buyers shops would close en masse, but that's not happening. Online bike sales only really work for high end bikes if there is enough demand and you absolutely cannot buy that bike in a store. You'll buy a kids bike online because in less than two years Braxtyn will grow out of it and you know he's not making the pro peloton anyway. You might even buy an e-bike for yourself or your partner because it doesn't matter if it fits when you have a throttle. But high end bikes? You may look at the pretty pictures in bed alone but you still want someone to tell you that it's a good purchase.

The new addition of ai to everything hasn't helped sell bikes either. Let's face it Ai mostly sucks.          Ai feels artificial and has yet to really be "intelligent" all while killing the planet. Ai is basically a glorified data scrape designed to look like new, relevant information, given to you by someone you wouldn't like if they were a real person. 

The Tarmac SL3 is just won the tour de France

So what is the path forward?

Bike companies should embrace the fact that no one can see behind the curtain. Instead of having fully built bikes in boxes, they can keep inventory separate and unbuilt. This allows touchpoint customization. Handlebars, stems seatposts and crank arms all able to be selected by the rider. Companies could also take customization a step further and allow semi custom paint in approved designs and colors. There are two large companies that have moved this direction: Orbea and Quintana Roo. They aren't offering every option in every model but I appreciate that they are evolving the business model. The "discount" from a brand like Canyon is almost insulting if you have to buy a $900 handlebar and spend another $200 to have it installed.  Trek also offers a semi custom option but only if you are willing to spend $9,900 and even then the options are limited. 

Bike brands also need to embrace bike shops, not just the shops that sell their brand but the idea of "local bike shop" more broadly. What if I have a shop that I love but, I want a bike they don't carry? I should be able to have a bike shipped to almost any shop I want for assembly and that shop should be able to submit a work order ticket for a reimbursement check. The shop could happily charge for a pre purchase fitting, get compensated for the build and sell the accessories and kit. The loyal customer is happy, the shop is making money and the cost to the brand is very small. 

Lastly: Warranties should be transferrable and shorter. I propose a five year warranty that can be transferred within a 5 year period for the frame and fork. Used bikes lose a significant amount of value in part because they lack a warranty, but what if used bikes didn't lose so much value? The vector of price between new and used would be smaller and selling new bikes for full MSRP would be easier.  Limited time warranties streamline claims because anyone who needs a frame warranty will be easier to handle and anyone who doesn't qualify will be easier to dismiss. Warranty claims are a place where D2C brands can win by being prepared to deal with brick and mortar shops. If Canyon is willing to process a claim and send a frame to any shop, the rider is more likely to buy a Canyon. No more rider hesitation (and yes guilt) because you didn't buy from "your" bike shop.

Offering a "lifetime" warranty is kind of a scam anyway, It sounds good and sells bikes but the goal from the company is always to avoid replacing bikes. Bike frames come out of a mold, and each of the sizes come out of the same mold, so frame defects are statistically rare. Failures that occur after 5 years would fall into two categories: Shimano crank type failures, which impact the entire product family or environmental failures, which are not defects. 

"OH no did you ride your bike on a trainer? Sorry, you should have purchased a dedicated trainer bike, your new $5000 frame is garbage" -Some guy at Trek probably

It's 2026 and the big scary future of retail is already here, customers are already shopping on their phones while they have 3 other screens open. People care more about what you can do for their future than what you achieved in the past. Hopefully bike brands can evolve to best suit the needs of riders while still supporting independent shops before ai becomes sentient and the Terminator robots force us all to work in the lithium mines. Also if any large bike companies want to hire me to consult, I accept payment in Bitcoin, we are living in the future after all. 

-Isaac

(written in my underpants, high as a kite)

Retail is for the dogs. Bark bark, motherfucker!

ALSO Written 2019 (unpublished)

It's the end of retail as we know it

If you look around the main streets of America you may notice that small businesses are vanishing. Locally owned stores are being replaced by national brands, discount superstores, or just empty space. What used to be an overpriced cutesy shop filled knick-knacks is now an overpriced chain with the same bland bullshit you can find 2.9 miles away. Plastic factory stores filled with polyester polos and teenagers named Chase or Braxtyn. This shift in retail is not limited to any one area but I'll focus on Bicycles because that's the area that I know anything about.

Bike shops as most people think of them are dying, the smaller stores where you see 100 bikes on the wall are being replaced by corporate stores where you see 200 bikes on the wall. They have the newest shiniest trek or giant thing because some jerk regional manager told them they needed to bring it in, All because his jerk national manager needed to hit a quota.

 Gosh, Dave you had a .0285 percent increase in saddle bags, you get a bonus this quarter! We need better units per transaction if you're going to be hitting that yearly bonus though. 

Fuck you Dave, and fuck you Dave's boss

The problem is that bike companies got tired of making good products and hoping independent shops would want to buy them. It's way easier to open a corporate store and force the store manager to carry a glut of inventory then, let that manager bear the burden of selling a bunch of mediocre shit at a margin that would kill any independent shop. The company still gets to claim that this is a brilliant business strategy and look surprised that the bicycle stores that were invested in their brand end up under water at the end of the model year. "we are having a great year and selling a jillion FX 7.3s, you must be running a bad business if you are struggling."

Not all bike shops

The other thing that is replacing traditional shops is what I will refer to as service studios. A service studio may not have a single bike for sale. Studios may only do tune ups or fitting or even have a cafe with overpriced single origin coffee for MAAP clad twats to sip on and discuss tasting notes, mmm leather and apricot. 

Studios usually offer a passionate staff with tattoos and skinny jeans that ride steel bikes and listen to Joy Division on vinyl. Replacing the corporate embroidered polo with ripped jeans and a band tee shirt gives it a feel of authenticity, even if neither store has an employee that knows a crown race from press fit 86.5 dub bottom bracket. Studios with bikes will usually have boutique brands that you have never heard of made by hand in a country you will never visit. 

So there are your options

You can either pay a bunch of money at a corporate store for a bike made in southeast Asia by children or, you can pay a bunch of money at a boutique run by Renaissance faire escapees importing artisan bicycles from a former Soviet Bloc country you cannot pronounce.

Is a hotdog a sandwich? It doesn't matter if you eat it without using your hands.

I wrote this in 2019 (never published) and it is still accurate

The world is stupid fucking crazy

Well it is almost the year 2020 and our post apocalyptic hellscape  has turned out to be boring  and tedious instead of the glitz and laser beams I had been expecting. As a human race we are searching for fossils on Mars, but U.S. Senators still don't know how pregnancy works. Our government is being run by early 90's style comic book villains like Roger Stone and Stephen Miller, who want to put mind control serum in Gotham's reservoir and kill all the Jews respectively.
Roger Stone looks like what would happen if you gave the monopoly guy a bunch of bad acid and then had a gang of MS-13 gang members kill his parents in front of him, then gave him a million dollars.
Roger Stone has an actual tattoo of Richard Milhous [fucking] NIXON on his back. I feel bad for whomever draws the short straw and has to rape Roger in prison.  Richard Nixon is literally one of the things I think about when I'm trying not to cum (sorry grandma).
This blog used to be funny, but now it's just real actual things without any extra emphasis and somehow is wackier. I dare you to google "roger stone joker"

This photo is not a joke! this is a real fucking photo. really! fucking REALLY!

Stephen Miller on the other hand doesn't look quite so cartoonish, sure he hates immigrants, and the Jews, and black people, and hair plugs, but he mostly just looks like someone you would find at a cross burning. Stevie looks like someone you can take home for Thanksgiving to meet your racist grampy. Miller almost passes for normal, except for the cold dead eyes of someone who catches neighborhood cats and mutilates their penises. 

Speaking of mutilated genitals, in a crazy post apocalyptic twist, somehow Fizik has managed to create a saddle that doesn't make me feel like I'm sitting on the wrong end of a carving knife.

The Italians have seemingly decided that they are not going to take over the world by making everyone impotent and created a delightful crotch-piece called the Argo Vento. This saddle is named after the Ben Affleck movie Argo, but unlike the movie, I can sit through it for a full 120 minutes. Actually Fizik has dropped the whole "what is your Italian spirit animal?" to determine saddle shape. Fizik is now using a different system called "guessing", which I prefer because it forces you to consult a professional bike fitter instead of just pretending you can touch your toes because the "snake" saddle looks cool.  

"But the internet has apps for saddle fitting now"

Thanks jerkoff, here's why that's wrong.

EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET IS TRYING TO YOU SELL SHIT

The internet is great for cat memes and getting catfished, but trying to find the right saddle can be difficult. The search results for "comfortable bike seat" range from saddles i actually recommend to this atrocity.

Time to take up bowling

Yes the spiderflex saddle is hideous. At least they did attempt to associate some research with it, and it is endorsed by a former pro cyclist with erectile dysfunction (which was more likely caused by heavy doping than a bad saddle) It also manages to somehow not be the worst saddle I've ever seen.