SARCASM SIDEBAR: Cavendish did actually take the win on day 2 of Three Days of De Panne
Cav explains that he is ready to fist Sagan, while Andre Greipel's helmet is just not aero enough
BUT I WANT IT NOW
Thanks to a new UCI rule, all equipment used by pro riders has to be available to consumers within nine months of it's premier. NINE MONTHS? That's bullshit, I have Tuesday night group rides to win starting in less than one month. Riding my bike seems like the worst way to get faster on my bike and really, who has the time? As an American I feel that I should be able to buy some watts RIGHT NOW. I may have forgotten all about aero helmets in less than nine months so I have enlisted the help of my babysitter and aerodynamics engineer Chad to build me an aero helmet for use immediately.
Chad hard at work in my basement wind tunnel
Shiny snake-face smells like purple, take these Gu Chomps out of my nostril.