You don't need a softer seatpost, you need a harder ass

First: there was the Cane Creek Thudbuster, the seat post for people too poor for a full suspension mountain bike but, who still had $200 to spend on unnecessary crap.

Shown here prior to being installed on a 1986 Slingshot mountain bike

With up to 3 inches of travel from the replaceable elastomer the thudbuster seemed like a not too terrible an idea.   The thudbuster existed for years making an assortment of fringe cyclist happy, people put thudbusters on folding bikes, tandems and decade-old steel bikes with Spinergy RevX wheels.
Fast forward to 2012 (the Chinese year of the kickstarter campaign)
What seemed almost palatable coming from cane creek apparently, wasn't good enough for some people.

Enter the Cirrus Body Float suspension seatpost.

Sweet scaffolding Bro

Their aim: provide comfort, reduced lower back and soft tissue trauma, improved cornering and handling ability and suspend the rider and not the bike
Instead of a nearly maintenance free elastomer the Body Float uses springs that can be loaded to your specific riding needs and body weight. Heavier springs can be installed for heavier riders and for more ‘cushion’ while lighter springs are utilized for lighter riders and for a more fine-tuned ride on smoother surfaces. The post has four pivot points for added rigidity.
Looking beyond the testicle numbing, sterility inducing, ass-hatchet that is the Selle Italia Flite saddle the Body Float looks like a garbage sculpture. With handling much like a Softride who could want anything more?

As it turns out the folks over at Cantitoe Road wanted more.
With a design that is less "trampoline" and more, "hey is my saddle clamp broken" Cantitoe Road has designed (but not yet built) the BioFloat.

The BioFloat seatpost uses a clamshell elastomer to trap the saddle rail clamp, completely separating it from the alloy outer clamp. This not only diffuses vibrations and shocks, it provides 360º of “float” for the saddle, letting it truly move with you as you pedal. Oddly, this seems like the least likely to fail so I'm sure it will never come to market.

Meanwhile in France -a country considered to fairly effeminate even by European standards- this is how they prepare for a bike ride:

This 28 year old woman is field testing Pinarello's the newest UCI Approved seat post

So instead of buying a new seatpost, get on your trainer and watch reruns of Paris Roubaix

"I wish I had a suspension seatpost" said Greg Lemond never.